Have you ever pondered that whatever you detest, hate, avoid the most and never want it to happen ……WHOMP, it happens.
“You pacify your heart. “I knew it will happen, I just knew it, I was so sure about it.”
Yess… Why did it happen?
Here’s the key – Let’s think through.
When we are sad and going through tough times, we keep thinking about it and resist the painful experiences we have gone through. Well you are not alone, majority does it.
Important thing to be noticed is that even if we are resisting, we are continuously thinking about it! Repetition of anything for a long time goes to our subconscious mind and ultimately it becomes a reality.
Why do we resist?
We resist when existing situation is not as per the expectation.
We resist because we want to avoid the pain we had in the last event.
We resist so that it does not happen again.
We resist because we don’t see a quick fix, instant solution that can fix it permanently, really?
We resist all that we feel is unfair and many questions arise within, “why this happened to me?”, “why only me”, “why every time I get stuck with problems”, “when it’s going to end” and we get lost in the firmament of ocean of “why, why and why”.
Only a few of us realise that as human we have solutions to our problems, because we are gifted with amazing powers and amazing mind. The only irony is the expectation of instant results, quick fixes. Only a few understand the law of karma. Why because it’s not part of our traditional education system. My friend, this is life and you have been caught by a lion 🙂
Accept the reality, it could be a bad break up, business loss, losing a job, demise of a loved one, totally broke or lonely in life, or other unfavourable instances.
As Carl Jung said-“what you resist persists”
It will not be a strange to connect it with “Law of Attraction”
In a simpler manner Law of attraction says “Like attracts like”,
In nutshell, trying to resist or running away from the negative emotions and situations will only attract more of its kind. Positive will attract positive and negative will attract negative.
Resistance is nothing but the negative thoughts that triggers negative emotions. (There’s a detailed discussion about emotions, I’ll certainly cover that in one of my articles soon.)
Ways of Resistance
- Not accepting the situation as it is and always be in denial mode.
- People who are aware of the situation but they are comfortable in their discomfort and pain, this gives them some kind of pleasure and sympathy, major population is trapped in this mindset.
- These are people who simply don’t take the responsibility and blame others for their suffering and this one is common too.
- Another one is for those who wait for the right time and hope that everything will be changed miraculously one day.
If you don’t deal with important issues and painful issues right away, this will become so much critical eventually that you will be clueless from where to start and eventually get depressed.
Let’s see in easy steps, how to embrace the resistance?
- Embrace the situation, good, bad, ugly or horrifying. Accept it, be conscious and aware about your present state and notice the moment that you are resisting. It is as simple as this- you can answer a question well only if you understand the question well. Acceptance of the situation simply means that you have understood the situation (question) well.
- Understand and accept the two scenarios very well–
- There are many things which you can’t control
- Focus on those things which are in you control
- Accept the sad incidents as learning, not as a failure. We might not know and predict why this happened but everything has a reason. Past is unchanged but the future is yours, to make your future better the time is now. Ultimately you can only connect the dots back.
- Resistance will happen, it’s natural, allow it to come but don’t hold on to it and feel victimized, confront your feelings and have right attitude to detatch with it.
- It needs conscious efforts to deal with our resistance but do it anyway, evaluate the consequences of resistance on your personal, mental and professional life. As they say like attracts like, surround yourself with positive people and keep positive mind-set. It will take time to break the pattern of negative emotions and feelings but a nice start is always better than to stay attached with refute emotions.
- Start with a relaxed mind and body and have a smile even if it is a crooked smile. Smile is a beginning of good times. If you can not smile, act to smile and eventually it’ll be a natural part of you. Things better gradually and even if it didn’t make things perfect, it is great to see even a little positive change than to have gloomy and miserable emotions.
Jim Rohn said it right,
If you don’t like how things are, change it! You are not a tree.