To love and to be loved is an amazing experience. Nothing feels more important than this once you are in love. Your day starts and ends with him/her in thoughts if not in person always. You steal time from your busy schedule to listen to him/her and search for excuses to go on a date. You bunk lectures, tell the story of an extra lecture to your parents. You even fall sick and probably coughed also while talking to your boss to make your sickness more real but you don’t miss any date. Everything he or she says, you not only hear but listen. You weave the dreams of marrying, living together and getting old together.
It’s such an overwhelming emotion to be with that person with whom you are madly in love.
Other side of this relationship are breakups too. There are many who jump from one relationship to another and interestingly each time it was true love for them.
The question is; are you really in ‘Love’ or ‘Attached’ to the person?
Most of the time we fail to understand the difference between Love & Attachment. Most people label ‘Attachment’ as “Love”. I am not saying that Love is an imaginary word or an illusion, it does exist. However, the confusion in understanding of Love and Attachment can make the relationship monotonous, frustrating or unstable.
Attachment- an illusion of Love:
Ask yourself is there any selfish reason as one of the bonds of this relationship? What we think as Love is mostly the Attachment. It is a form of addiction. Once you get addicted, even a thought of loosing that person damages you to the core. So it was mistaken as love. Attachment is need based.
Attachment can also be due to emotional emptiness. In this you always seek your partner to fill that emotional void to make you complete. Attachment is quicker when someone makes you feel important and special because somewhere it is pampering your emotional emptiness.
Emotional Attachment can be of many types. Some seek security (financial, emotional or social) in a relationship or an attainment of power through relationship. In turn, you easily get attracted to the person who fulfils your desirable criteria. You feel happy because it gives you a sense of security and satisfaction. Attachment revolves only around you and yourself. Attachment works at a very surface level, it’s shallow. It makes you possessive and as a result you may become fearful of loosing the person. You start feeling like your happiness is solely your partner’s responsibility. Your expectations grow higher and when he/she fails to deliver, it causes frustration and you develop a tendency of domination. You tend to do acts of validation of your attachment every time referring as Love.
In many cases either in harmonious or in violent relationships, it feels impossible to live without your partner not because you love your partner but because you have vacuum in your life and your partner is filling that vacuum. You become emotionally dependent on your partner due to the fear of being lonely. You get so used to this pattern of behaviour that it looks all genuine to you and you call it Love.
Love is deep and has much deeper understanding. When two people are in love they embrace each other the way they are and help each other grow. Love is not forced or controlled.
Love is when you want to be with someone even if there is no selfish reason attached. Wellbeing, growth and prosperity of the other person makes you happy in true sense even if you are not along with him or her. Love is effortless because it has trust and selflessness.
Love is unconditional, empowering, freeing & timeless! It’s Divine!
Love & Gratitude