Do you feel better or bitter when you think of certain people, incidents or situations which have hurt you knowingly or unknowingly? Have you ever introspected why there is so much chaos within? Why attaining Buddha nature looks like a remote possibility?
There was a time when I was living with many grudges against few people. I used to say that I don’t care and it doesn’t bother me anymore but deep down I was hurt and I was wounded by their behaviour. I was too young and immature to understand the conceptuality of forgiveness and I kept my emotional grudge high years on years. I used to call it my self-esteem unless I realised that it was my ego. I used to feel “I have never hurt anyone, how can someone hurt me so bad”, “what did I do to them for this suffering”, “how can I forget all the suffering created by others”, “whatever happens, I am never going to forget those people and their hurtful acts towards me”, “I shall never forget it and one day I will take my revenge”. “I will prove them wrong”. These lines kept on echoing to me constantly for a very long time unless I realised and understood the power of forgiveness.
No one is perfect, everyone has flaws and we all make mistakes, I am sure that everyone has got hurt and everyone has hurt others. It is impossible to be sane in this competitive and highly materialistic world.
People wish to live a happy and peaceful life but they are unwilling to let go of their toxic experiences and emotions.
Why do some people find it so hard to forgive other?
- Lack of basic Nature of Love and compassion– People who lack the basic ingredient of humanity of love and compassion often find it tough to forgive others. They feel forgiveness is the sign of weakness.
- By holding the grudge people feel that they are punishing the other person– People feel that they deserve the punishment so they keep holding on to the resentment and grudge against them.
- Ego– There is a thin line between Self-Esteem and Ego, people often refer ego as self esteem. To maintain their so called self-esteem turned EGO they don’t forgive others.
- Sympathising ours negative Satisfaction – People want to keep the memories fresh by thinking over and over again. It gives a kind of negative satisfaction that ahhaa.. I have not forgiven him/her and I shall never ever forgive this person throughout my life. I shall always remember what he/she has done to me. This thought fills people with momentary ecstasy.
Need of Forgiveness
We are all imperfect human beings, we all make mistakes. None can claim that he/she is completely perfect and has never done any mistake either big or small. We have all the logic to seek forgiveness but when it comes to forgive others, resentment overpowers.
Least we realise that forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness, holding on to the anger and hatred will only multiply it and harm us way more than the offender.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past- but you sure do change the future- Bernard Meltzer
- Forgiveness frees us from our sad past and teaches us to be present in the moment. It teaches us to consciously aware and appreciates the present.
- Forgiveness gives us the power. Before forgiveness power is with offender because we are controlled by the offender and still living in the same old sad situation but after forgiveness we become more powerful.
- Forgiveness is the only tool which helps us to move on without keeping any grudge, anger or any temptation or seeking revenge.
Confucius said on Revenge “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves”
- Forgiveness improves your immunity system by releasing the negative emotions. Overall it’s good for physical and mental health.
- Forgiveness allows us to see the goodness in every being. Many a times anger works like an extra thick layer which doesn’t allow us to look into the soul of other person.
Stay tuned to learn more about power of forgiveness and ways of forgiveness coming soon- Part 2