In continuation to the Part-1 where we have gone through the situation and need of forgiveness, let’s focus on the power of it and the process.
Power of Forgiveness
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future”- Paul Boese
Feeling of detachment from someone who had hurt me was blissful and I realised, what I was carrying never belonged to me. It is actually their behaviour and I must drop the weight of my suffering. I realised that forgiveness is a conscious act of detachment. However, it is a difficult choice to make because holding on to the grudge gives a feeling of hurting other person as a revenge. The love and satisfaction towards feeling of hurting someone else becomes so powerful at times that forgiveness or detachment becomes impossible.
True realisation happened when few accidental instances of detachment were felt by me. I started realising the power of forgiveness. Soon after this I made a conscious decision to practice forgiveness as a daily ritual to achieve my real nature of peace and composure.
It has been two years I started meditation which helped me to become more self-aware and eventually got me into the thought of oneness. The moment oneness thought became prominent in me, emotions of hatred started getting vanished and I became more open towards forgiveness.
How to Forgive
We often keep anger and resentment alive in us with a feeling that it is making us stronger and powerful. In reality it sucks all our strength and makes us powerless.
There is no other way to attain peace, compassion and love than to learn the art of forgiveness and make it a practice. It is not an occasional act but an attitude that keeps us grounded and humble.
Before you start the forgiveness you need to ask yourself,
Do I really want to forgive and move on in my life?
If you are not willing to forgive it will be just like drama and futile exercise.
I follow two ways for Forgiveness.
Thought and energy focus:
- Find a silent place, close your eyes and imagine the person you want to forgive in front of you. Think about the incident and situation that caused you hurt and accept the occurrence.
- Now think how does it affect you mentally and physically? Think as clear as possible to make forgiveness easier. Give it a minute time.
- Now think about the person and yourself. Ask yourself – am I perfect? Have I never made any mistake? Other person’s actions were derived from his limited belief. Most of us act with our own limited beliefs just like him or her. I such case he/she certainly deserves the forgiveness. Think for a while about and when you are mentally ready, take a deep breath and say with intense feeling at least thrice “I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you” stating the name of the person/relationship. “I let go all the anger and resentment and set myself free”.
- Open your eyes gently with a big smile.
A writing exercise
Find a silent place; write a letter to the person whom you want to forgive. Write down each and every feeling, negative emotions and mental experiences that caused you pain, anger and every detail which you experienced till date. When you feel there is nothing more left within? You don’t need to give this letter to the person.
Go to an open ground, request for the attention of Almighty, burn the letter in an open ground and say it aloud “I let go all my pain, anger and resentment caused by you knowingly or unknowingly with this burning piece of paper. I forgive you. Let’s be in peace. I am sending all my love to you. Thank you God for releasing all the pain.”
Last and the most important step
Promise yourself that you will never dwell into the past and reignite the bad experiences. It is possible that those past experiences haunt you again but you need to keep practicing these exercises again and again until you come out of this. Eventually a time will come when you’ll be at peace and will smile over it.
Remember to repeat the forgiveness process until you start feeling neutral about those people and their acts.
Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude- Martin Luther king Jr.
Don’t forget, forgiveness takes time, keep practicing and let the divine power do the rest.
Always remember “You deserve to be happy and peaceful. Forgiveness opens up the doors of happiness.”
- Forgive others.
- Seek the forgiveness from others for your wrongdoing:
- Forgive yourself as well.
Forgiveness is a 4 letter word but it’s only possible when you keep aside the 3 letter word “Ego”.
Start loving yourself and creation of Almighty.
Love & Gratitude