Why did this happen to me? Why are my targets not meeting? Why am I getting rejections in interviews? Why my business is not growing? Why am I not getting right match for marriage? Why God is making me suffer? So many WHY and so much negativity in each question.
Let’s understand this simple rule that “Questions are the answers. Right questions can give you breakthrough approach to your most difficult problems at work and life.”
Our personal growth and quality of life mostly depends on the quality of asking right questions to self. Asking questions to self works in two ways; either it makes you hopeful or it makes you hopeless.
If I ask you to go back in time and find one moment when you were truly disheartened and sad because of any bad event or situation that persisted for longer time, what was your thought process then and what kind of questions arose in your mind during that time? I bet the questions would have been mostly negative or of complaining in nature, I am sharing this out of my personal experience. The moment I changed my questions to myself, my life started getting better.
Let’s understand more.
Most questions are reflex of emotions. These questions emerge automatically, spontaneously and not consciously coming to notice.
Two kinds of emotions arise in any situations-
Pessimism– Pessimism drives you to look for only negative things in any situations and eventually this becomes a pattern of your thought. For example, you are booking a cab and cab driver cancelled the booking, you immediate ask to yourself “why the heck bad things happen to me”. Not necessarily you faced this many times but this has become the routine and pattern of asking questions. Pessimistic emotions bring suffering in life.
Optimism– Optimism drives you to ask positive and solution oriented questions. Highly optimistic people try to take any negative situation as a challenge in their lives. For example, you are appearing in many interviews but somehow getting continuous rejections. There are two ways to look at it, either curse your luck or ask yourself, “which area shall I work upon or what skill I need to develop in order to be more effective to reach my goal of selection”.
An optimistic approach doesn’t change the tough and rough time immediately but it surely gives you enough positivity and courage to deal with it and look for the best solutions during those times.
How do right questions impact your life?
Question connects you– If you pay attention, you will realise that any question you ask to yourself instantly connects you. If you ask negative question to yourself, you instantly feel low and powerless. On the other hand if you identify anything positive; even if you are in suffering, you will immediately see a ray of hope and your inner being gets courage to say “let’s face it”.
Right question designs your destiny– Right questions kill ego. Right questions at right times have highest possibility to design your destiny. Question should be apt and related to situation and has problem solving ability with an open ended approach.
Ex- should I need to change my sales and marketing strategy or product price or product quality to increase my company’s revenue, not that “I am doing every damn thing but still my company’s revenue is flat or not increasing”.
Ex- What should be my best approach and what are my greatest areas to project to close maximum deals. Not that “the problem is not with me, it is with the other side, I know my work and I know how to do it”.
Right questions inspire actions– Right questions are always lead an action. If you ask right questions to yourself, you will get right answers that reenergise you and convert your questions into right actions. Wrong questions take you towards hopelessness.
Right questions work like “law of attraction”– Right questions work like magnet, if you ask right and positive questions, your focus increases towards positivity and you will look for solutions. If you ask wrong questions, it will increase your focus to cribbing and complaining. Remember, whatever you focus will increase. Its law of attraction.
Practice that you need to follow to change the pattern of your questions:
Be conscious of all the questions coming in your mind. As human it is obvious to be negative at times. We still need to make a habit of converting wrong questions to right questions as explained above. Whenever any negative question arises, just be thoughtful enough to immediately change the approach towards finding solutions.
Questions have this enormous capacity to make someone alive or dead. Quality questions work like oxygen in the body that yes, there is a hope, there are ways, let’s do it.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman
Love & Gratitude