Baby! I love you.
Do you remember your feeling the moment you say it?
There is always so much excitement and spark in the beginning of any love relationship. You feel like spending all the time together. Hours pass by quickly and longing doesn’t end. Exchanging emotions over long calls starting at night continued till morning becomes a necessity. You both take vows of being together for life based on no calculations but a feeling of Love!
How do you define Love? Does its meaning change in due course of time? What makes a partner feel that it’s not possible to live without the other?
In this physical world, most relationships are based on give and take. One addresses the need of the other and as long as it continues, harmony is maintained. However, in early days of love relationship this need fulfilment does not bother people at all. Why because the idea of overlooking and devaluing this gap of need fulfilment originates from the feeling of Love. As relationships get older, partners become habitual of each other and this relationship of give n take becomes prominent. How long it takes to reach this habitual state is very subjective, it can vary from a few months to a few years. Fundamental here is not to address or define duration but to understand primary difference between Love & Habit. Even years of togetherness may put most of the people in an illusive emotion of Love which in reality is Habit.
Are you still in love with your partner?
Do you still get the same ecstasy thinking about your partner as in your early days or you get flustered and irritated with your partner’s actions which never bothered you before. Is your “I LOVE YOU” robotic now?
Take a pause and think through – “Is it Love or Habit?” Do you both still in Love or have become habitual of each other? Is it just Habit which is driving you to an emotion that you can not live without the other? It may be funny for some, interesting for some and confusing for the most.
Let me try to put some more thoughts to bring in more clarity. As per my understanding basic ingredients of love are selflessness, compassion, benevolence and renunciation. The moment relationship becomes majorly a game of give n take, Habit starts taking over Love. People don’t really realise it because it’s not a switch, it’s a gradual process but once you realise it, it may bring that spark back in your life.
True love is a pure bond, unconditional acceptance and purely selfless behaviour. Even if you are not together, you both still be at peace and happy without any kind of insecurity or demand – this is the sign of Love.
Love is an act of detachment not attachment. Confused? Don’t worry, keep following for an upcoming article on the same. 😀
Love & Gratitude