Coming from an orthodox Brahmin family, daily recital of the Ramayan and the Bhagwat Gita in the morning was very normal in my family and as kids we were also encouraged to read at least few lines every morning before heading to school. I always felt that I had a good connection with the divine since childhood. More than religion and its staunch processes, I used to think why God created the world, about reincarnations and the circle of birth and death. All of this used to puzzle me like crazy.
There was a big Radha Krishna temple in the vicinity of my house. I started going there frequently mostly in search of spiritual books. Temple has their own library and a book shop inside. Then one day I overheard my mother talking to my father that “she is behaving weird these days, God knows what happened to her, she spends her whole time reading only these”. I frowned, oh, they are talking about me. I left them talking and after sometime my mother furiously came in my room and collected all my books and locked it in her cupboard and said it’s not the right age for me to get into all these books and I must focus on my studies. It was the end of a 13 years old curious mind towards universe, spirituality and many other intrigued questions about human existence.
My tender mind forgot this incident and I got indulged in my studies but somehow I never got away with the intense feeling about divinity and its mystic mysteries.
I believe generally people get into spirituality only in two phases, first when they have achieved everything in life, tasted all the pleasure and luxury and second when they are at their rock bottom stage in life and have nothing left to loose. I was in the second category. I was going through with a very tremble phase of my professional life. In fact I was at rock bottom. Business was doing negative, I was not making any money in fact my savings were nearing to an end. I had lost hope and was clueless about what to do next.
That was the time, few years back; when a very good friend of mine suggested a book written by Paramhansa Yogananda “An Autobiography of a Yogi”. Without any second thought, I ordered the book immediately and started reading. Though I had to force myself to create interest in first few chapters but as I went on, I literally got glued to the book as if i got what I was looking for. I started getting amazing energy and feeling of enormous possibilities in life. I am fortunate that I am born in the land which has given birth to many great gurus, saints and teachers. This book has transformed my life completely. Earlier I was reading aspects like law of attraction and subconscious mind but this book blew my mind away. This was my first encounter to the whole new mystic world which is beyond any science and logic. I have absolutely no existence and identity to judge this book, this book is a soul to spirituality. They are not mere pages but transmit energy. Now I watch out every word I speak and every act I perform. I have no more fear of death because I am a soul and I am immortal. Since I am a part of God so I have the power to do anything I desire. I don’t belong here, I am here for a purpose, I need to find my purpose, serve it and return back to my real home.
The night I finished that book, I saw a very unusual dream. Usually I don’t remember dreams but that one I can describe till today. The dreamy area looked like a cave, I saw a saint in deep meditation with a smile on his face, the whole dream was in mustard yellow with a hint of black and the saint was looking like Mahavatar Baba or Lahiri Mahashay, I am not sure because they both look alike. I was surprised and puzzled with my dream. I absolutely didn’t know the meaning behind this. Then suddenly I got a kick; what if this dream is an indication that I have a connection with God and the first step to get there is to start meditation and that was my first day of meditation which will be continued till my eternity. Meditation takes me to the place which can’t be seen with open eyes. I dive into different space and love behind my closed eyes which are so magnetic and soothing that it feels like home coming. The feeling of trance is overwhelming and hypnotising.
When it comes to spirituality I don’t dig for the logic, I believe there are many things beyond discerned science and logic which are untouched and unknown by humanity and probably will always be untouched, unheard and unknown by many. Spirituality can’t be seen, it has to be experienced to believe it.
Since then I have been reading many other books written by great gurus and spiritual teachers. The more I read the more I get fascinated to know everything about this mystic world.
Interestingly, these days, often I get to meet people, who help me to elevate my spiritual being. I am attracting many amazing people; those experiences are absolutely awe-inspiring and enlightening. Rightly said “what you seek is seeking you”. I realised eventually that the key to happiness is within us. All answers are within.
Spirituality is home coming..